#Eid: Don't forget to make it personal

It's that time of the year where we get together to celebrate a public occasion. Right now, it's Eid Al Adha...in a few months, it will be Christmas and a few days after that, it will be the new year.

Advances in technology have been making it very easy for us to stay connected with another; possibly even to be connected to much more people than before. The norm today is to broadcast a greetings message over WhatsApp, or to post a season's greetings on your Instagram or Facebook. Though all this is good because you are probably being able to reach out to a lot more people, let us be careful about sufficing yourself with it.

Give them a call
One of my favorite traditions that I have picked up from my family over the years is calling relatives and close friends to greet them during occasions. When I was younger, we used to visit relatives and neighbors too. Today, with the fast pace and hardship of life, I understand that devoting soo much time (and effort) might be somewhat impractical, especially if all your relatives and close friends don't live close to you as they used to before. But despite this, try your best as much as possible to remain personal; obviously not with everyone on your phonebook, but with those who matter the most to you.

Stay humble
During times of celebration such as Eid, people like to flaunt the good moments they spend whether with family or friends. With soo much going around the world nowadays, let us remember that there many out there who aren't having it as easy. Eid Al Adha is about connecting with loved ones, and also about being connected spiritually. Let us remember to keep it that way. I'm not suggesting to stop sharing all together, just be more picky about what you post. 

Remember others
I think the value we take away from being connected with those who matter the most to us is that for a small glimpse, we are more engaged in sharing either happiness or empathy with them. Living in the UAE had given us the privilege of not facing some of the hardships of life that others live on a daily basis in other places in the world. But sometimes, a thoughtful phone call to an old close friend, or a visit to a relative you haven't seen in ages would mean the world to them; especially if they are going through their own life battle.

So what are you waiting for? Pick up the phone, and make it more personal! :)

Eid Mubarak to everyone, and may you always spend it in blessings, good health, and joyous moments.

Happy Endings!

It's been quite a sad time for the UAE for over a month now. First, we learn of 45 families (now more than 70) who have lost their loved ones in Yemen. And just a couple of days ago, yet another tragedy strikes, and we learn of the sudden loss of His Highness Sheikh Rashed bin Mohammed Al Maktoum, the son of His Highness the Ruler of Dubai, due to a heart attack. He was 34. 

I've been contemplating for a while now on the topic of sudden deaths as I myself lost my father this past Ramadan. Without any warnings and without any illness, we quickly lost him as we were getting ready to have Iftar. He was 61. 

I bumped into an old friend today who also shared with me his story about loosing his father this last December. Though he seemed to be holding it together, I can tell that he also seems to be still in shock about what happened as he was sharing his story. He told me that his father suddenly fell ill, was taken to the ICU, and a few days later, he was gone. He was 80.

It seems to me that the only certainty about life is death. No matter who you are, how old you are, how healthy you are, when it's time, it's time and there is nothing much you can do about that. What you actually can have some control over is how you live the very short time that we have in this life. I find myself sometimes worrying about the most meaningless things. What I have come to appreciate over the past few months, that what truly matters in your life, comes down to two things only: putting a smile on the face of your loved ones, and taking a shot at everything you ever wanted to do.

As there is only one way out of this life, why live it in either fear or regret, or even worse, both? A lot of times, I think people miss living in the now. Sometimes I feel some people are still stuck in the chains of the past, or live in the fear of the shadows of tomorrow. 

Albert Einstein once said that the only constant in life is change. Embrace it, don't fear it, nor fight it, as in change we find growth, progress, and ultimately happiness. And like in many things we encounter in life, death is also a change. A difficult one for sure. But ask yourself, do you want this change to define you? To limit who you will always be for the rest of your life? Or would you prefer to grow from it? To become someone who is soo much more than who you are now? 

Not a day goes by without me thinking of everyone I lost in my life, especially my father. But my father always inspired me to be happy. To always pursue whatever i want, as long as I don't loose sight of my values. So in happiness and progress, I have found my father, very much alive, and still being there as my driving force towards finding happiness. 

Change is difficult, but it is inevitable. So how about we live an awesome life, and move on from the silly little things that don't really mean anything to us? What I really hope from this post is to inspire you to realize that your life is in your control, despite how it doesn't seem so sometimes. I also hope I inspire you to do more of what inspires you, and be more with people who matter to you the most, before there's nothing much you can do about it anymore.

Here's, hopefully, to a life with a happy ending! 

image credit/freeimages.com

3 secrets about MONEY to unlock happiness

Managing your finances can be one of the biggest burdens you go through in life especially if you always feel like you are running a tight ship all the time. Money problems can affect your relationship, cause you stress, and even result in major health issues. Luckily, dealing with expenses doesn't have to be as daunting as you imagine it to be. After speaking with a number of people who admit that rarely is money one of their primary sources of trouble, I was able to attribute their happiness to the following 3 secrets:

1. You don't have to have more; you just have to have enough!

Many people believe that having more money is the solution to all their problems. That perception isn't entirely accurate. Though more money means that you can afford more; affording more doesn't necessarily mean that you will be happy. We live in an age where we are heavily influenced with what society benchmarks as happiness. Almost everywhere you look, whether it be on-line or on print or broadcast media, happiness is portrayed in the form of a luxury commodity. You are happier if you own a lavish home. You are happier if you drive a luxury car. You are happier if you wear expensive clothing.

What you need to realize is that happiness is relative and unique to each one of us. What makes you happy, doesn't necessary make someone else happy. Since happiness is relative, the cost of happiness is therefore relative and that is specifically why you don't necessary need to have more than what you currently have right now to be happy! Figure out the important things in your life...put a plan to making them happen...and stick to the plan! 

2. You don't need to have the money now; you just need to have a good payment plan!

When looking at the big stuff like buying your own house or starting your own business, many people look at the price tag and compare it to how much money they have in their savings and determine from this comparison whether they can afford paying for it, or not. 

If you need more money right now to accomplish a goal that brings you happiness, try to speak to a number of banks to see what loan facilities they can offer you. Keep in mind that not every bank offers the same facility, therefore, a good repayment plan will need have the smallest interest you can possibly find in the market, and that can be paid back over the shortest period of time that you can afford. 

3. Don't stack up loans; just follow your dream one step at a time!

When income is limited, it is best that you take baby steps towards achieving your dreams. Though taking out a loan can be a fix to a money shortage situation, you will always want to be in a situation where you can pay it back as per the payment plan you have with the bank while still keeping a little bit on the side for you to save. Try not to get over ambitious, take things easy and put a realistic timeline on when you will be achieving each one of your dreams.

Bonus secret: Don't think of the opportunity cost! 

Money in concept is a limited resource. This means that no matter how much you have in your bank account, a purchasing decision will most certainly come at the expense of having something else. When you come in terms with this, you will be more confident (and more at ease) to making the bigger decisions. Value and cherish every step you take towards your happiness, and if the opportunity cost really matters that much as well, put a plan on how you will get it next!


Image Source/Healthy Fit Tips

Diaries of a fasting man: Good social deeds

Day 3 is nearly coming to an end, and I think my body has gotten used to the rhythm of fasting. I haven't craved food at all today, and I actually had more energy in me to get around in doing some chores. This in fact brings me to today's post which I thought is best to be about doing good social deeds. 

Ramadan brings with it a sense of obligation of being a better person overall. I notice people tend to be more spiritual by way of reciting the holy bookz, and attending to prayers. But for this individual, I am almost certain that being a better person should be more of a lifestyle rather than acts crossed off a checklist. This got me thinking about what small changes I can do in my life that may have a positive impact both on me and the people in my life. Here's what I have come up with so far:

Appreciate your family
We hate to admit it but we do take them for granted. During this month, like me, you may realize that you aren't the one who prepares the iftar meal and just take it for granted that come Maghreb prayer, the food will be there on the dining table. If that's the case, then take a moment each day (or every other day) to acknowledge that person in your life who keeps you well fed at iftar time. A simple, yet regular, thank you will take you a long way.

Help with home chores
If you aren't the one cooking the meal, then at least be a contributing member by helping in other stuff like setting up and clearing the table, or taking out the trash, or even helping in cleaning the dishes. I assure you, you'll feel more self content.

Invite your friends and relatives over for Iftar
Given how busy we get with work during the year, sometimes there is a disconnection between your life with your family and your life with your friends. Ramadan is an excellent opportunity to connect, and reconnect people with one another so take it as an opportunity to have your family meet your closest friends, as well as a chance to reconnect with your relatives.

Donate unwanted used clothing
There are over 60 million refugees worldwide, many of which rely on contributions to survive. If you are skeptical about donating money, a good alternative may be considering giving up your clothes for a good cause. My rule is if I haven't worn it for over a year, chances are, I won't be wearing it ever again. There are many organizations operating under the red crescent which will accept your clothes donations; just make sure you do give to those who are licensed and are transparent about their operations.

5 things I will miss during Ramadan (and the 5 things I am looking forward to)

The holy month of Ramadan will most likely begin this coming Thursday. For those of you who are not familiar with its culture, it is the month in which fasting is required from muslims from dawn to dusk. The act of fasting isn't limited to refraining from eating and drinking only, but also refraining oneself from harmful acts and words and devoting oneself to a spiritual cleansing and a little bit of soul searching.

But this post isn't about what Ramadan is, rather it is about the 5 things that I will dearly miss during the coming month starting this coming Thursday (depending on moon sighting), as well as the 5 things that I am looking towards to.

5 things I will miss:

My morning coffee

Though I have never been a big tea or coffee consumer, over the past few years a love relationship has been built between me and coffee. Coffee doesn't ask questions, coffee understands. With coffee in the world, how bad could things be? Life begins after coffee! I guess you catch my drift, so definitely not looking forward to the major caffeine withdrawal symptoms that I will probably be having over the next 4 weeks!

Cardio workouts

I have been in a constant self battle to adopt an active lifestyle. I definitely do not consider myself as a fitness benchmark. When you have a metabolism rate that is as dysfunctional as a flat tyre, you tend to appreciate any work out that you can maintain consistency in (well sort of), and for me, I have found consistency in jogging and boot camp workouts. The problem with these exercises during the coming few weeks is that it tends to get you feeling dehydrated most of the day, which you will need to compensate with a major intake of water. The fact that temperatures hover around the 50 degrees mark don't help out as well, so I guess during the holy month of Ramadan, Carlo (our OFC boot camp trainer) will be spared from yelling 'yalla yalla' at me.

New movie releases

Ok, I am big cinema fan. I will practically watch anything that has a rating over 7.0 on imdb. Anything! But what movie theatres in the UAE tend to do during the holy month is postpone the release dates of all major blockbusters until Eid to ensure attraction. Good bye cinema, see you in a month!

Normal hours

Due to the fasting, the daily routine changes. Life returns to normal after the breaking of fast (which is around 7.15pm), and night outs will be mostly on a regular daily basis as Ramadan specific venues open up across town. Work productivity will be affected as working hours will be reduced, which means you shouldn't hold your breath for any major work decisions during the coming weeks.

Friday brunches

I will certainly miss the mother of all cheat meals, and that is our family Friday brunch. My favourite spots, without dispute, remain both Ewaan at the Palace Downtown and Kitchen 6 at JW Marriott Marquis. Good bye my lovers, good bye my friends! 

and the 5 things I am looking forward to...

Ramadan Iftars: It's like having Friday brunch every single day! Hooray!

Strength training: Yes I will be stopping cardio, but I have no intention on dropping on maintaining fitness. Hello weight lifting.

Reading books: Having to work less hours, only means that I now have more time to spare for reading. Gotta keep that mind sharp, and soul cleansed.

Ramadan Tents: with many expected to open up around town, it will be interesting to check out what each has to offer (do revisit the blog in the coming weeks as I will be posting reviews).

Bonding with family and friends: Ramadan is a time that promotes for people to come together and be closer to one another. Interestingly, over the past years, it proved to be a time to meeting new friends as well. Let's see what this year has got to offer.

Can you relate to any of the above? What are the things that you will miss during Ramadan, and what are the things you are looking forward to? I'd love to hear from you :)

5 people you meet in a conference

During the next few months, chances are you will be hearing about a number of conferences happening around town. Conference-goers attend such events for a number of reasons and associated benefits. One thing for certain is that you need to figure out why you are attending this event yourself, and accordingly, determine who is the best person (or people) you'll need to meet.

To help you better prepare to attending a conference, here is a list of the 5 people you are nearly most certain to meet in a conference:

1. The Networker

One of the main reasons why professionals attend, and even speak, at conferences is for the networking opportunities those events offer. Some people are naturally better at it than others, while others improve on their networking skills the more they attend conferences and get to practice it.

Normally, networkers plan in advance whom they will approach in an event and that is why you will find many of them aggressive when they introduce themselves to those contacts they planned to meet; and sometimes impassive when they meet a contact whom they feel will be of no added value. In all cases, a networker is normally ready to exchange business cards at the prospect of what future opportunities may come out of it so never shy away from approaching a prospect.

2. The Celebrity

High profile professionals, whom are either speakers or guests, normally fit the profile of a celebrity in a conference. Those are the individuals that everyone is lining up to meet with the hopes and aspiration that they will be able to get their business cards. Reality is that celebrities do not exchange business cards except with other perceived celebrities, so unless you are a CEO of a large company as well, you can almost forget about getting that business card.

Rather than wasting your efforts, what you can do instead is try to figure out who is attending the conference with the celebrity from the organization he or she is working in. Usually, a celebrity will not show up without one of his or her senior officials, or even personal assistants. If you successfully identify those (they usually hang around the celebrity all the time), and exchange business cards with them, you will have a better chance at getting closer to the celebrity and even setting up future meetings with him or her.

3. The Philosopher

This is the person whom whenever he or she gets the chance to get the microphone (and they ask for it a lot) to supposedly ask a question during the conference, will elaborate on a suggestion or an idea they think is better than any idea or concept any of the speakers presented during the entire event. They'll make you feel that they are the experts in the subject matter, and somehow got over-sighted to be up there on the stage alongside the speakers. Please don't ever be a philosopher!

4. The Hashtagger

Those include instagrammers, tweeters, and bloggers whom attend conferences to generate content, obtain quotes, and snap away pictures to upload them onto their social media accounts.

Conferences nowadays rely heavily on social media engagement as one of the event's success indicators. This is why most of those conferences being organized would not just have an account to publish its key messages and promote its agenda, but would also establish and promote an event hashtag for the hashtaggers to use.

5. The Unknown

Those are the people who are physically attending a conference but aren't really there. They never introduce themselves, nor are interested in meeting people. You'll see them staring down at their phones nearly most of the times, or working on their laptops while a discussion panel is going on. There is a high chance that they are attending the conference because they are forced to do so, but if given the choice, would prefer to be back in the office getting "some real work" done. 

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What stands between YOU and YOUR GOALS

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The 'On My Way' Texts Translator -- Emirates Version!

As inspired by the wackiest DJ in town, DJ Moe; here are the Emirates version of The 'On My Way' Texts Translator! Enjoy, and do share yours as well in the comments section :)

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Birds of flock fly together

People are outcomes of a finely intertwined net of personal and social customs, a net interwoven ever since birth. Customs become a definition of principles, beliefs, and ultimately, lifestyle preferences, shaping an environment which becomes like home. Once a block of this environment is breached, the sense of home is violated. 

Customs are not RIGHT. Non-customs are not WRONG. Customs are a preference which outlines a PERSONAL-SOCIAL comfort zone, a comfort zone shaped by principles and beliefs. He who breaks away from principles and beliefs divorces self-integrity and truth. Surround yourself with supporters, engage in counterarguments, embrace criticism, but stay TRUE to yourself and background. You only go wrong when you renounce. And that’s how you start to fall.

Birds of flock fly together.

The glorification of a woman

They say that 'behind every great man, is a great woman'.

Reading into this quote makes me realize that in fact it could mean one of two things: either the widely acknowledged interpretation of a man who cannot become great unless he has a great woman in his life backing him up; or a second unspoken analysis that in fact the greatness of a woman is defined by the level of a man's greatness; which means that it actually takes a great man to produce a great woman!

Now, I am not implying that the greatness of a man and that of a woman are dependent on one another. Actually, let us assume for a second that every single man and woman out there is great because let's face it, that's what each one of us prefers to believe in. So if we are all great, what elevates our status of being averagely great to that of superior greatness? In my opinion, the simple answer to this is to what extent, and to what reach, a person gets glorified by another.

When a man truly loves a woman, with all his passion, with all his being, with all his existence; such a man will be fueled with inspiration and creativity to make her fall in love with him every single day. Yes, a man will strive for greatness because of love, and in the process will glorify his woman elevating her status and reputation to greatness. Therefore, it is the love of the man, and not that of a woman, that ultimately creates the great man; and it is only then when people will say "she must be a great woman" since it is inconceivable that such a 'great man' will settle for anything less.

We love you ladies, and we thank you every single day for the greatness we strive for because of our need to prove our love to you publicly, and to always make you proud of us men; but let us not confuse men's need for great women, with men's need for proving their love and passion, to become great. As a matter of fact, the quote that 'behind every great man, is a great woman' was first cited by Meryll Frost, a male athlete who publicly recognized the greatness of his woman as he received his trophy of the most courageous athlete of 1945.

Happy International Women's Day :)

Comments are welcomed.

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What Arab Men Want in a Woman

An article titled 'Wanted: a Barbie who doesn't mind a hairy, greasy Ken' published in The National sometime back in mid-2013 has recently surfaced up on my Facebook news feed. I was obviously intrigued at first by the article's title, but was later taken aback by its contents as I finished going through it. In summary, the writer looks into addressing the question: What do Arab men look for in a woman?

Image credit: seijaku

The writer starts off by stating that she doesn't want to generalise her findings as they are based on her research from speaking to a number of men who come from different Arab countries, yet as you continue reading, she describes that all men she interviewed "had thick curly black hair that looked slimy with gel. They were also quite hairy, and you have no choice but to notice their chest hair given their widely open shirts often elaborated with gold chains, or silver "halal" chains worn by more religious men". The writer later claims that only some men will deny that her sample represents them!

Before I proceed with my two cents on this appalling description of all Arab men, I will share with you the summary of the writer's findings:

According to the article, Arab men apparently look for a woman who is:

1. Naameh (soft and gentle). One who doesn't talk too much, isn't loud, or nag;
2. Fair and blonde;
3. Educated, and holds a degree that didn't come at the expense of interacting with many men and forcing her to live away from her parents; and
4. From a good family with a good reputation and plenty of money.

Though this Barbie-like image might indeed appeal to a few shallow men (whether Arabic, or not), the reality of the situation is that the above findings in no way resemble what REAL Arab men want. Men, in general, look for a woman who is:

1. Respectable: a woman who is both well-mannered and well-behaved is extremely attractive to any respectable man. Self-respect also establishes trust in the relationship!
2. Presentable: I won't deny that looks do play a role, but at the same time, the woman doesn't have to be a model. Men are normally very happy with a woman who knows how to take care of how she presents herself, in appearance, to people
3. Knowledgeable: nothing is more stimulating to a man's mind than having an interesting conversation with his life-partner. Knowledge shapes the personality; and to quote a wise person: "A gorgeous face catches your eyes, but a gorgeous personality captures your heart"
4. Ambitious: a woman who aims to achieve something she wants; whether it be success in her career, or the accomplishment of something she always desired, is very inspiring to real men
5. Loving and Caring: this is the most important of them all because, though women think otherwise, a man picks up on the difference between a woman who genuinely loves and cares for him, and a woman who simply seeks the security of getting married irrespective of who the man is. Who do you think men will prefer?

Though I respectfully disagree with the writer's account of what Arab men want, I think that her article was a necessary spark to address many false stereotypes on this subject. I also invite the writer to take a stroll in any of the UAE's malls, and make a note of how many men she finds whose hair are slimy with gel, and walk around with open shirts that are elaborated with gold or silver chains. If she does so, I am quite certain she will understand why I will choose to be among "the few men" who will deny that her sample represents them!

Follow Rami Jaber on Twitter: @JaberRami

5 Overrated Wedding Elements

To see a couple in love getting married is a really exciting affair, but can be an expensive one too! I have personally been to weddings in the Emirates that have a price tag starting from AED 70,000 all the way up to a whopping AED 500,000! Such a financial commitment on the newly weds can be a big burden to your happily, ever after story!

This is why I thought of sharing with you the following 5 overrated wedding elements that are worth considering to let go of so you may have, as a couple, a more peace of mind when preparing (and paying) for your big day:

1. Invitation Cards

As part of traditions, it is customary for the couple-to-wed to send out, or hand-deliver, wedding invitation cards. What's funny as well is the fact that I have heard in more than one occasion people will not attend the wedding if they don't receive their invitation by hand!

With the entire world being connected digitally, I totally do not see the point of informing people about your big day through this obsolete way. Simply create an event page on Facebook, and blast out your 'Save the Day' announcement. Not only do you save money, time and effort by going digital; but you will also establish a dialogue with your guests to answer some of those FAQs, and be able to regularly give them updates concerning your big day!

2. Kosha (Stage)

One of the most stressful wedding elements is securing the Kosha (or Wedding Stage, in English). The Kosha is meant to establish the focus/central point of the wedding event. It is where the bride and the groom will be normally seated when they are not dancing. I have seen Kosha designs that range from simple, rectangular shape accompanied with a simple backdrop type , to the most sophisticated and regal-like types. Obviously, the more complex the design, the more the Kosha will cost. On average, the Kosha can cause financial damages in the range of AED 5,000 - 30,000 (if not more!).

A more cost-effective alternative to the Kosha can be setting up a long-rectangular table where the bride and groom, and their families will be seated at. Many weddings these days also opt for adding a photo-booth, which in my opinion, is a more fun option to have than your average wedding picture shot.

3. LED Dance-Floor

Nothing confuses me more than a couple getting excited about adding a LED dance-floor to their wedding venue, I just don't get it! Sure, some of them do look nice, and they do add a little flair to your wedding slow dance pictures (given that the lighting isn't tacky), yet still I feel it is an element that your wedding can survive without. Hotels normally throw in a standard, wooden, dance-floor as part of the package, so why not make use of this offer and save a little cash?

4. Large Crowd

In Arabic (OLD) culture, it is more prestigious for families organizing the wedding to invite the largest number of people to attend. It is done so as part of a social practice, to show people how wealthy you are as a couple, and how fortunate both families are by marrying into each other! Some of the weddings I have been to have been organized for 300 - 700 people! Bearing in mind that catering charges per person anywhere in the vicinity of AED 160 - 300 per person (on average, and depending on the venue), you find yourself already committing around AED 50,000 as a minimum for a crowd that you will most likely not know very well, and who will end up criticizing every little aspect of your event.

As an alternative, there is nothing shameful in organizing a nice little wedding for your families and closest friends, even if this adds up to be just 50 - 100 people! This way, you will not be only saving unnecessary cost, but will also get the opportunity to mingle, dance, and goof around with everyone!

5. Table Centerpiece

Last, but not least, I really do not see the point in getting all sophisticated in your choice of a table centerpiece. Some wedding venues normally offer a selected number of centerpieces on a complimentary basis. So why not avail of this, and save a little!

Got any more thoughts on this? Please share them in the comments section below!

Follow me on twitter: @JaberRami